Composing section/ Part B

What are you being asked to do?

In the composing section you are being asked to use language in one of five ways; to write either argumentatively, persuasively, informatively, narratively or aesthetically.
Before looking into these different ways of writing, we need to briefly look at what the marker will be looking for the answer regardless of what way you decide to use language:

PCLM

Clarity of Purpose
The task here is to use language in one of the five ways mentioned above. Therefore your answer will only complete the question you identify and use the type of writing that is suitable for answering the question you choose.

Coherence of Delivery
You need to consistently stick to one language type throughout.

Accuracy of Mechanics
Spelling and grammar must be of a decent standard (few mistakes) and suitable for the question and language type chosen.

The final part of the PCLM method contains additional qualities that the marker will be expecting you to place in your answer:

Efficiency of language use
Here the marker will be looking for you to decide upon a number of things for your answer:

The audience – the marker is told to look for evidence that displays that you know who you the audience is for what you are writing and that the subject matter is suitable for them (AKA it is what they will relate and respond to). In addition, he/ she will look to see that you are either formal/ informal, humorous/ serious etc to suit your audience. They will also want to see that you can write in the written medium required of you, so that if you are asked to write a speech then it sounds/ reads like a speech etc.

In short, all of the above combine to show that you are using a language type suitably to answer a question asked of you. The key questions you should be asking yourself before you answer the question here are:

What am I being asked to do (what language type is best for this answer)?
Who is my audience?
How should I write to them?
What should I write about to them?

The different langauge types

Regardless of the language type you write in for your answer in this section, the marker will always look for evidence that you have focused on what has just been mentioned. You will need to do so while writing in one of five ways, aesthetically, argumentatively, persuasively, informatively, or narratively:

While we shall go into detail later about how to write in these langauge types, for now it is essential to know their functions, so that you get to grips with how these language types are used and so you can identify if a question is asking you to write in a certain language type based on what it is asking you to do with you with what you are writing.

Aesthetic – the description of feelings and happenings
Narrative – telling a (short) story
Argumentative – a debate or conflict of ideas
Persuasive – persuading someone of something
Informative – informing someone of something

Informative – A good way to think of informative is that if there is no real audience present, perhaps like a radio talk etc, that the language genre. This is because there is noone to persuade or argue to about something, which is needed for argumentative/persuasive. Informative language is simply putting your point across, so this goes hand in hand with informative language. But to be clear, this does not mean informative can only be used where there is no definitive audience; IT IS used when there is an audience to be spoken to.

Persuasive – there is more element of force being used here, as you are trying to persuade someone of something. However it will be gentle. It will not be like

Argumentative – here the question asked will indicate some element of considerable force to what you are being asked to, argue/ defend a point, in a debate etc.

Aesthetic – this involves two essential things to be done:
1) describe something that happened
2) describe/relate your feelings to what happened
An interesting way to do this is to perhaps to devote a/ several paragraph/s to the 5W’s and H (who, where, when, what, why and how)

Narrative – the telling of an event, through the structure of a short story (introduction, complication, climax, conclusion)

Below are some techniques for writing in these language genres:

Descriptive (in aesthetic) writing
• The piece is sudden and dramatic – the reader gets a sense of real life where there is no time to stop and think
• Sensuous writing – the reader can see, smell, hear, feel etc what is written
• Present are adjectives, verbs etc so the reader is left with little or nothing to imagine due to the vivid, energetic picture created
• We are given location and direction so we are not left lost in the piece
• For each description there is one dominant impression – i. e the water is not hot and cold, it is hot or cold. The reader is not left wondering, s/he is told.
• Subjective elements – the reader is given information on the author’s opinion
• Concrete details are used so the reader can visualize what is described

Informative writing
• Wording is simple – the effect is that the reader will focus more on the point they are being informed of rather than fancy wordplay
• There is none/ little pressure for the audience to accept your argument – the reader is left to form their own opinions/ conclusions
• The facts are credible – even if one is not an expert on the topic at hand, the facts appear credible enough for the reader to accept
• Strong tone, active and powerful words and adjectives are present – the effect is to emphasise the point to the reader

Argumentative writing
• The piece/ issue is controversial – it can be argued not just by the writer and the side he/she takes, but can be opposed too
• A clear stance has been taken by the writer – we know what his/her position is
• Facts, statistics etc are used to back up the writer’s stance
• The writer’s tone is respectful of the issue at hand and the opposing side to what he/she is arguing

Persuasive writing
• Only benefits are mentioned, not the disadvantages
• Short, snappy words and sentences – keeps the writing flowing, making it easy to read and digest the message
• Phraseology is used to strengthen the viewpoint such as ‘in fact’, ‘therefore’, ‘hence’
• An unusual or innovative opening captures the reader’s attention from the offset

Narrative writing
• There is a plot and setting (where and when the story happens) – pretty basic, but a lot of narrative writing attempts do not have this!
• The characters in the piece have motives for doing what they do – makes the story credible
• There is a motive to the story – a hurdle to overcome or be achieved; it is not just a series of random events
• The story in some way supports a generalization – it appeals to all audiences
• Present are concrete, sensory details to support points; the result should be a dominant impression

Part B Sample answers: below we shall see how to use the PCLM method as shown above with techniques from each of the language styles to answer questions on the exam:

2007: Imagine you are running for the position of Student Council President in your school. Compose an informative election leaflet encouraging students to vote for you. It should outline your own leadership qualities and the changes you would like to introduce into your school.

Dear fellow student,

You are reading my election leaflet for Student Council President. Below you will see why I hope you will consider me for and why I believe I would be a good Student Council President; my leadership qualities and the changes I would like to introduce into our school.

As said, I believe my leadership qualities would make me a good Student Council President.
I am a flexible leader. I have been leader of several clubs and organisations. I have been president of the Debating society, French society and Audio-Visual society. As well as this I have been captain of several sports teams in our school: basketball, soccer, rugby and waterpolo. This experience shows that not only am I a suitable leader, but that I am a flexible leader. I have been elected to and have led various diverse groups. People who are technically motivated have elected and accepted me as their president, as have those athletically and linguisticly inclined.
Not only have these people elected and accepted me, but I have led them with success. Every society I have been president of has won major honours, and this shows and is because of a united and harmonious organization, with all its members pulling together in the same direction. As shown, I can adapt to, work with and lead variously diverse groups of people. I feel this would make me a good Student Council president, as the school obviously comprises of various groups and cliques, all of whom would need to respond to and work with me as their President. My history of leadership proves this, and proves that should I become Student Council President I could deal with interacting with various diverse individuals.

Another reason I feel I would be a suitable Student Council President is the changes I would like to introduce to our school.
As Student Council President, I would like to give a common room to each class/year in the school. This would be of benefit to the students as it would allow students to come to school early and have a place to locate. Doing so would allow students an alternative to coming to school near starting time and risking being late and detention for being so. These common rooms would not only be intended for before school; students would be able to use them during break time, hence allowing students to relax in a quieter setting than a noisy canteen with the entire school during their only time off during the school-day. Students would also be able to use these common rooms after school, for the purposes of study. This would allow students whose surroundings at home are not suitable for study (because of noise etc) valuable study time.

The final reason I feel I would be a suitable Student Council President is another change I would like to introduce to our school, giving more sports time to students.
As Student Council President I would aim at giving each class/year in the school two more classes of sport weekly. Furthermore this would involve a wide range of sports, such as indoor and outdoor hockey, volleyball, rounders, softball and tennis. A benefit of this is that it will provide the opportunity for the eventual forming of such clubs in this school, giving the students a wider range of sporting organizations and teams to cater to their wants and needs.

I hope that my leadership qualities and the changes I would like to introduce into our school present me as a suitable candidate for Student Council President of our school. If you want any more information, don’t hesitate to contact me on 0811111111.

John

What is the task?

To compose an informative election leaflet which encourages students to vote for you, which should outline your own leadership qualities and changes you would like to introduce into your school. Here you have to show that you recognise that you are being asked to do so, and that you are attempting to do so. You should be writing informatively.

How does this answer complete the task?

It is written in an informative style: There is simple wording used, meaning that the points focused on are easy to notice. There is little pressure on people to vote for the candidate; the effort is more on showing that he is suitable for the position, rather than why the audience should vote for him. The facts are credible (made-up, but this is obvious – the main thing is that they sound credible here, to make it read like an informative election leaflet. Strong tone, active and powerful words and adjectives all emphasize the points displayed to the reader.

Suitable and consistent register: The register is formal because it is an election leaflet, although it could have been informal because it is targeted at your classmates, but you must be consistent with whichever you choose. Here it is consistently formal, which makes it sound/ read like an election leaflet.

There is an appropriate sense of audience: The leadership qualities and changes that are outlined in the answer show thinking of what would appeal to your classmates, as they are issues that affect them and that they would respond to.
• Quality of the leaflet: This reflects on the overall quality of your composition; is it a good informative election leaflet or not, whether the arguments/points you put across are relevant, how consistent you are with your register.

The three other qualities of the PCLM method are present (the above deals with Efficiency of language use): the task is dealt with, as an informative election leaflet is created and maintained consistently and cohesively, with no grammatical or spelling errors which hamper the marker’s reading of the answer.

2006: ‘Hours later… the boy’s soul raged..’ Imagine that, in an attempt to control his feelings, the boy writes into his diary and account
of the incident and his reactions to it. Write out his diary entry.

7th June 2008

Dear diary,

I am so angry at him. I have spoken to you before about how he has shamed, angered and saddened me and once more my father today my father placed my soul in a rage.

We were in Lady Sarah’s lands; she had granted my father permission to cut down a small tree on her lands, as I told you yesterday. However she had only allowed him to cut down a small tree on her lands, and he ended up cutting up a fine beech wood tree. You remember that fine tree I told you beside Lady Sarah’s house, the one with copper-coloured leaves, and the trunk as wide as the car we drove to Lady Sarah’s lands in. The tree was not just bigger than our house; it was bigger than Lady Sarah’s. She was bound to notice. There was no way she would let my father cut down such a tree.

Once again my father has shamed me; how can anyone take such advantage of not just their position but also the kindness of a lady who allows him to cut down a tree from her land for firewood for the winter? My father seems not to care however; as he has done in the past he has taken advantage of his influential job of Garda Seargant – as he carries the law out he fears no one. I have never been more ashamed of my father when he lied blatantly to Lady Sarah as she emerged. He asked her ‘What seems to be the problem’ and ‘Are you sure’ when she grew upset at his cutting down the wrong tree. The shame I felt was one of that when you know someone has done something wrong, but this is a secret knowledge; a knowledge which you cannot reveal, which makes the knowledge all the more shameful. I even felt ashamed myself, as though I too was involved. This is why I am so ashamed of my father; he is the one who is supposed to guide me, and tell me what is right and wrong. However I feel as though once more he has corrupted me.

Adding to my soul’s rage is the sadness I felt towards Lady Sarah. She was so sad at the death of her tree; how could my father do this to someone so kind, and gentle?
It is difficult not to feel like this. I know he is my father, but after being given a tree to cut down to take advantage of this and cut down a better tree is insulting. But what is not making me so angry is not the insult, but how sad he made her feel after she acted out of kindness towards him. She was visibly affected by his cutting down of one of her prized trees. When she first arrived and saw what he had done she staggered towards the tree; not like someone drunk but like someone who had lost all strength and will to live, as if she had just heard of the death of a loved one.
Her face broke my heart. Her eyes had grown so small in her shock that they were simply like two red dots. Her face had lost all sense of feature; she was almost like a poorly drawn cartoon character. Not like something you would laugh at, but something you would pity for its lack of caricature and feeling, as if its creator had almost neglected it. She held a leaf to her mouth and nose, as if trying to breath life back into it. Finally, as she left she sighed silently and told us to finish what we had so cruelly started. She looked so old, so pitiful; it was as if she had given up, like a person who had suffered a life-threatening illness and had finally given up the fight for life. My heart had shattered; I felt so ashamed at not just my father but myself. I could not even do her the honor of telling her truth. She deserved that. Instead I stayed loyal to the man who has corrupted me. I felt so inadequate. I was laid down with guilt, and after she left I could not speak another word.

Finally, I feel angry towards my father. Not just that he has corrupted me, but that he attempted to blame me entirely for the events that unfolded today. As I have told you before, once again he has tried to disgrace not just my soul but my reputation, and today it was to the most wonderful and pure Lady Sarah.
When Lady Sarah told him it was a weakling ash that she had given him to cut down, my father turned to me and remarking ‘Didn’t I tell you it was this one? I told you all along’ as if in a pantomine. He acted out his role to perfection, and I could tell this outburst had been rehearsed in case it was needed. It was as if he was in the pantomine; Lady Sarah and myself knew, like the audience, the truth but he continued to argue otherwise, so the pantomine could continue. He even tried to hit me. My soul angers tonight not because he laid the blame on me but because, as said, he has associated me with him in the eyes of Lady Sarah. I am angry because I cannot escape; he is not just my father but the Garda-Seargant. He carries the word of law not just in Lady Sarah’s lands but in my own home. I cannot even hope for escape from him through Lady Sarah; she will not take me in now, now that that she sees me as bad as my father. Not through any action of my own, and all through the actions my father, and in the space of one afternoon, my reputation has been tarnished. How can I not be raging? He is no longer my father, but merely my Garda-Seargant. My soul rages tonight, and presumably it will tomorrow.

John.

What is the task?

It is to compose a diary entry and describe what happened that day and how you felt about these happenings. You should be writing aesthetically.

How does this answer complete the task?

It is written in an aesthetic style: It is a diary entry which accounts the incident and the boy’s reaction to it. The answer describes the events, experiences and how the boy (here you) feels or reacts to these. There is descriptive language used, such as sensuous writing, adjectives etc to describe the events and each event is coupled with the boy’s feelings about it.

Suitable and consistent register: The tone is informal as you are writing to a diary which implies a personal tone.

There is an appropriate sense of audience: The audience is your diary; the emphasis is therefore on accounting the incident and your reactions to it. As with any diary entry, the emphasis should be on telling and describing to the diary what happened to you, in a personal manner, such as recounting other incidents you have told it before etc. Write directly to the diary and describe directly what happened, indicating that you recognise your audience, the diary, and how it functions.

The three other qualities of the PCLM method are present (the above with the Efficiency of language use): the task is dealt with, as an aesthetic diary entry is created and maintained consistently and cohesively, with no grammatical or spelling errors which hamper the marker’s reading of the answer.

Essay/ Composition Sample Answers:

5. ‘What seems to be the problem?’
Write the speech you would deliver to a group of world leaders in which you persuade them to deal with one or more of the world’s problems.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I am here today to persuade you to deal with several of our world’s problems. Primarily, the world problems I feel you need to deal with, and what I will focus on today is, health systems, the problem of cocaine and alcoholism. What I aim to do is to show how these world problems which are affecting our world are directly impacting upon where I live, Ireland, and why thus they need to be dealt with, as they are not only affecting the world as a whole, but damaging individual countries to the point that they are suffering morally, financially and healthily to stay afloat.

As said, we need to deal with the problem of health systems in the world. If we take the Irish health system as an example, we see that drastic changes are needed.
This health system needs to be changed from consultant-led to consultant-provided. Currently, consultants rule how hospitals run. In fact, consultants are able to work their hospital schedules around their schedules for their own private practices so they can work both and pick up two pay cheques. However this only suits the consultants, not the patients. The result is that consultants only come to the hospital once a week often, thus leaving patients in hospitals for up to a week longer than they need to be. We need to remove the power of the consultants; if we do this we will remove a lot of patients who do not need to be in the hospital, and remove attendant costs which are wasted on these patients who do not need the hospital or its attendants. We should furthermore be relying on GPs to provide follow-up care to such patients as caner patients, rather than wasting further time and resources of hospitals which could be used for more pressing matters. The result of all this would be simply more staff and resources for patients who need to be in the hospitals.
Another reason we need to deal with health systems is seen in the over-reliance of slim resources, characteristic of the Irish health system. At the moment the Irish health system is 1100 acute beds short of what is needed. Currently, if the Irish health system carries on the way it has been, the demand for hospital beds could reach 20,000 by 2020 – to achieve this there would need to be a hospital the size of Tallaght Hospital built each year until then. An acute bed expansion to 20,000 by 2020 would cost €4 billion. Thus we need to radically deal with the Irish health system and how it is running. We need to create an integrated health system, involving the development of primary, community and long-term care service and developing services for chronic, disease management. Patients should be brought into the hospital on the day of their surgery rather than one to three days before. Patients should be treated in more appropriate settings including their own homes if possible, as thirty nine percent of current patients could be. Demand for healthcare is expected to increase by 60% in Ireland alone over the next twelve years and thus spending must be rebalanced to expand community based services, so public can access care more conveniently and closer to home. If we deal with the health system now, and change it one more reliant on community care, long-term care and more efficient hospital care, the need for hospital beds would be reduced to just under 9,000 by 2020 and thus cut the cost that would be needed drastically.
We also need to change the way we treat our doctors. Currently consultants choose doctors through favoritism and racism. Irish health service doctors work a fifty-eight hour week currently. Doctors receive little or no practical training. We need to eradicate this; doctors should be working a fourty-eight hour week like the EU imposes. Junior doctors should not be working periods of up to thirty-two hours straight. Doctors should be chosen by consultants according to their potential. If we worked our health system in this manner, we would have doctors who would not only be fully awake but also competent to do their jobs, such as being able to take blood or insert cannulae.
Thus we see that the problem with the world’s health system is a problem, seen in the case of Ireland – changes need to be made quickly otherwise there will be serious financial and health implications to the Irish taxpayers and populations due to lack of suitable resources and staff. If we act now, we can save the Irish pain and suffering, not just in their pocket, but in their bodies too.

Another world problem you need to deal with is alcoholism.
Currently Europe has a major binge drinking problem. Irish females, who top the Eurpean binge drinkers league, drink on average sixteen to twenty-one drinks during a weekend, the equivalent of a bottle of wine. Elsewhere, thirty-four percent of Irish people questioned in a survey carried out by the EU last year said they ‘usually’ bigne drink. In Finland the total was 27%, Britain had 24%, while Denmark were fourth with 23%. Even more worrying is that EU spokesman Philip Tod said that binge drinking was highest in the 15-24 age group.
We need to act on this. There needs to be a ban in alcohol ads targeting young people, such as Guinness, Budweiser, Heineken, Carlsberg, Wkd etc. There must be a lowering in blood alcohol level limits for young and novice driver of 0.2 grams per litre, compared to an average limit of 0.5 which is in place in a majority of EU states. Random alcohol testing by police drivers has to be put in place. Nightclubs can no longer sell drink for as cheaply as €2-3 euro.
This must be done. Currently young people see ‘a good night out’ as falling down, being sick, or being thrown out of a nightclub. Drinking stories involving tales of alcohol-related mishaps and escapades are seen as key markers of one’s social identity and as a badge of friendship and unity among young people. If we deal with this problem in the ways mentioned, as well as exposing the risks of excessive alcohol consumption, people will see the long-term health risks of drinking and curb their excessive drinking habits. We would also drastically reduce the rate of homicide (46% of homicide in Ireland had an intoxicated perpetrator), domestic violence (in Ireland 25% of sever injuries alcohol was always involved), alcohol related road injuries (in Ireland again, between 1990-2006 179,264 people were injured as a result of road accidents of which 40,851 injuries occurred during the time (9pm-4am) most associated with alcohol related accidents. Likewise there would be a sever reduction in the financial cost to businesses due to absence caused by alcohol; in Ireland alone this is over one billion euro annually.

Another problem that needs to be dealt with in the world is cocaine.
We need to deal with the current problem that the world, represented by Ireland, has; that the drugs trade is a successful, lucrative and consistently-growing industry. In 2005 it was identified as a €1 billion per year industry. Currently cocaine is flooding Ireland – a recent Prime Time Investigates programme revealed that traces of cocaine were found in nearly all of Ireland’s pubs and clubs. In Ireland the numbers seeking treatment for cocaine addiction have soared by 700% in the last decade. 2% of young Irish people aged between 15-34 used the drug in 2005, while across Europe cocaine-related treatment has doubled between 199-2004 with around 12% of all demands for drug treatment related to the drug. There is cocaine epidemic in our world today.
We need to deal with this problem. Currently there seem to be two schools of thought; overhype the problem and make it look like almost everyone does it so as to expose the problem to the public domain and hope those involved will be affected and reduce their efforts so as not to be publicly identified, or legalizing cocaine so as to reduce the crime it brings, and perhaps reduce consumption by removing its sinful, out-of-bounds stigma. We should not be doing this; this will only add to the cocaine epidemic we are already dealing with. We need to take a thoughtful approach to tackling our so-called cocaine crisis rather than overhyping the problem or opting for legalization.
One way we should be dealing with this problem is to raise public awareness of the affect of cocaine – that regular cocaine use is linked to heart conditions, strokes and various other physical complaints that vary depending on the route of administration of the drug, as well as that frequent or long-term use of cocaine can also have a powerful adverse effect on the user’s mental health. This would surely send shock-waves to those who are not aware of the drug’s affects and hence would surely reduce from the 20% rise that is predicted in cocaine consumption in Ireland.

Thus you see why we need to deal with these world problems. It is not simply the world as a whole that is affected. While Ireland is representative of problems that are going on all over the world, this is also a world problem in that individual countries are being individually affected by these problems. We need to act on a global scale because as we see individual countries, such as Ireland cannot deal with these problems. Acting now would go a long way to dealing with dealing these problems. Delaying would be detrimental, as shown above.

What is the task?

It is to create a speech to persuade a group of world leaders about a world problem that needs to be dealt with. You should be writing persuasively.

How does this answer complete the task?

It is written persuasively: Only the benefits of the actions stated above are mentioned. There are short, snappy words and sentences. Phraseology is used to strengthen the viewpoint. Such techniques contribute to persuade your audience that the problems you are talking about actually need to be dealt with.

Suitable and consistent register: It is formal throughout, which is what is expected for a speech to a group of world leaders.

An appropriate sense of audience: The audience is a group of world leaders, and the material used in the speech is appropriate for them. The issues mentioned are serious, while credible facts back up such issues.

The three other qualities of the PCLM method are present (the above with the Efficiency of language use): the task is dealt with, as a persuasive speech is created and maintained consistently and cohesively, with no grammatical or spelling errors which hamper the marker’s reading of the answer.

Argue in a debate in front of a group of politicians that an aspect of our world needs change.

Our health system needs change. While those in the health industry believe this is not the case, our health system is so faulty and poorly-managed that the risk of getting sick is as big a threat as back in medieval times, when mankind faced plague such as the ‘Black Death’. Examining several aspects of the health system reveals this explicity, such as flawed resources, over-reliance and wasting of slim resources and the faulty cancer care in the Irish health system.

Many in the Irish health system argue that the system is suitable and capable of managing the well-being of the Irish population, such as cancer treatment. While there have been many highly-publicised mistakes in mamograms and other tests for cancer recently, the likes of Mary Harney believe that there is now no such risk. Mary Harney recently quotes that the HSE’s decision to end mammography services ‘have removed this identified clinical risk to women in the midland region’. However cancer care is still alarmingly poor, and not suitable for detecting and treating one of the most threatening diseases known.
While the likes of Mary Harney would have us believe that the health industry is suitable for dealing with cancer care, the health service suggests otherwise. It is consultant-led health service rather than consultant-provided, meaning that consultants have control over how patients can and are treated. Consultants do not even treat such patients on a daily basis; they have their own private practices/ clinics to deal with. This creates two key problems. Firstly, many patients are left in hospital far longer than they need to be, as consultants often only return to a hospital a week after patients can go home. This creates the second problem, that many prospective patients cannot be admitted as there are no beds available, which are being held by those who do not need them. This adds to attendant costs and we see that the consultant-run health system is wasting costs that are badly needed for its improvement and preventing treatment from people who need to be admitted to hospital, which may be detrimental in the long-run to these patients. Staying with the issue of costs, 70% of cancer care funding is spent in the unnecessary long-term follow-up of patients. It has also been calculated that the number of people receiving radiotheraphy as in-patients in the Irish health system is five times that of the amount in Germany and other western countries, showing what is being argued here, the mis-management and waste of cancer care resources, which can and should be changed.

Elsewhere in the health system change could be implemented, when examining other resources such as the number of beds available in hospitals. Those in the health system argue that the bed situation in Irish hospitals is suitable for patient needs at this moment in time and that there will always be situations where someone will not be satisfied with their situation. However examining the bedding situation reveals otherwise, that more beds are needed. Currently the health system is 1100 acute beds short of the number needed to cope with the current health system. Currently there is no discharge date planned for 83% of patients. Patients are brought into hospital up to three days before their surgery. 39% of patients are needlessly treated in hospital settings when more appropriate settings could be used, even their own homes. As with cancer care services, it can be seen that the Irish health system is being mis-managed and that if one were to get sick in Ireland today their treatment would not be that which is suitable for them or the Irish health system.
The belief in the suitability of the Irish health system is further undermined and thus reveals the need for change when considering a look to the future. While its advocates would argue that the health system is suitable for its needs at this moment, the HSE’s Acute Hospital Bed Capacity conducted a recent review which concluded that if there is not appropriate investment and if current practices and processes continue the demand for hospital beds could be 20,000 by 2020, which would require the building of a hospital the size of Tallaght Hospital each year until then. An acute bed expansion to 20,000 is predicted to cost €4 billion. The Irish economy cannot afford this, especially in the current economic climate and with demand for healthcare expected to increase by 60% over the next 12 years, change is definitely needed in the Irish health system, not just for the ill, but for the Irish population as a whole, who will have to pay for this if needed.

The final need for change in the Irish health system to be examined here is with its flawed workforce. The belief that the Irish health system is suitable is once more questioned considerably when considering many of the doctors employed across Ireland. Many of the junior doctors work excessive hours, which brings about obvious subsuquent dangers to patients. Irish health service doctors officially work a 58-hour week, with 2009 the deadline for a ER-imposed 48-hour week. However in reality many junior doctors work much longer hours, often up to 32 hours straight. Furthermore, because of little practical training, many doctors qualify without being competent to perform basic routines, such as taking blood. Even more alarmingly is that there is supposedly a racist and cherry-picking culture in the Irish health system, where consultants pick the junior doctors they like rather than the most competent. The result is that once again a need for change in the Irish health system is revealed.

As shown, the Irish health system needs to be changed. This is seen when examining cancer care, beds and the workforce of the Irish health system. Even more importantly is that we are not only at risk now, but if nothing is done the signs are that such a situation may be irrevocable in the near future. The Irish health system needs change, and now.

Thank you.

What is the task?

It is to create an argument that an aspect of our world needs change. You need to write argumentatively.
How does this answer complete the task?

It is written argumentatively: It is a well-defined but controversial issue; the topic can be argued upon but from reading the piece you know which side of the argument the author is in support of. His/ her argument is backed up with facts and examples, and is given in a reasonable tone, while being respectful of the opposing side – the piece is written impartially and courteously.

Suitable and consistent register: It is formal throughout, which is what is expected for an argument.

An appropriate sense of audience: The audience is a group of politicians, and the material used in the speech is appropriate for them. The issues mentioned are serious, while credible facts back up such issues.

The three other qualities of the PCLM method are present (the above with the Efficiency of language use): the task is dealt with, as an argumentative debate is created and maintained consistently and cohesively, with no grammatical or spelling errors which hamper the marker’s reading of the answer.