This blog was written in pen last night.

I was hit by total silence today. I am normally one with a quick wit response and remarks which may be considered repulsive. My tongue has offended many, my voice makes people listen. Yet today i had no words to describe how i felt. I was for one of the first times in recent memory, speechless.

Earlier on today i met a living survivor of the holocaust. My blood boiled at some of the things this man had witnessed. I have no shame in admitted i was very disturbed and potentially close to tears on two occasions. Images that made me want to close my eyes, yet closing them merely brought a visual form of what he depicted. It was a life changing experience for me. Seeing the living embodiment of something that was just ” on my course ” Thankfully i recorded it as i plan on distributing it to as many people as possible. The means his story will never go untold.

It made me play with thoughts, i was humbled to have been only 10 foot away from this man. The thoughts were confusing as they envoked feelings i do not usually have. Compassion, Appreciation and a need to act.

I was then rocked by the news that one of my best friends fathers had died. While i had never met him, it was the concern for her that slowly squeezed the air out of my lungs. How could he die, a heart attack of course. The unexpected, often unpreventable killer that takes those whom you would not expect.Especially those who do not deserve it.

I do not mean no body deserves to die, certain people of course do not deserve to live.

The fact how upset i was, also provoked serious thought. I think i portray and even see myself as an insensitive “monster” if you will. I mean, my dad is the same age. How it so easily could have been my dad.

It made me think how she must feel. I can’t imagine. Hopefully to many reading this they can’t either. What my friend has been through, i found it quite hard to offer comfort earlier. She knows i love to write, i hope she reads this and realises this is my way. To let her know how so many people are behind her. I felt like shit because of my day. The things i worry about are insignificant. I didn’t do well in my Christmas exams, NOTHING close. Not even 0.0000001% close to her problems.

Yet it has given me such a shock relisation. How fragile life is. How it can end in an instant. My signature on so many forums is ” we spend so much of our life not saying the things we want to say ” . That is a quote from Prison Break by Michael Scofield. I was a little upset watching the last episode of that show, honestly i just had something in my eye. I was quite attached to that show as i watched it religiously with my dad. It often gave me comfort when friends would no.Something like that makes me think how lost we would all be without our parents. How we are older now and no longer take them for granted. It gives us some empathy for what some people could feel

The stuff i worry over. Girls and what to do or tell them, homework, if my head is up my arse. Yet i say nothing. I will not stand idly by and watch chance after chance slip through my fingers. You need to live for the moment as life is too short. I am re reading this. In fact i am substuiting it for a short talk on mobile phones. Hopefully my teacher understands. If not, i won’t care as the punishment and problem to me shall be so insifnificant compared to where my current priorities lie. Comforting my friend and saying all i have been to scared to say to others.

Life is fragile. I am writing this at 1AM . Thinking of my friend, hoping beyond hope she can still come back, be the same person as before. I cannot sleep, i know she won’t be either.

Glósoli.