Ok this is a bit of an odd one, but where do you get your inspiration? Poetic, artistic or, in my case, what motivates you? As I was desperately trying to fall asleep on Tuesday night, this thought crossed my mind. It wouldn’t leave. Like that those annoying lyrics of a song that play over and over, it was jammed.
Famous faces kept dropping in and out of my thoughts, Obama (who should not have won that Nobel peace prize), and his goosepimple-speaches, Mary Robinson, Mary McAllese and so on. But what have they ever done that really affects me? Anything that warms my heart or chills my spine to even thin.
Random phrases took their turn early the following morning. Those quotes, those petty clichés; so annoying, but true. I’m not even going to list them, they annoyed me so I’m sure they would annoy you too. Iconic quotes always seem to make me feel as if what I have to say is pathetically insignificant – sometimes I do need to be told to shut up, I know, but wouldn’t it be nice to hear your name break that crisp silence after real quote? One that sends shivers down your spine and through every muscle in your body. I may keep dreaming!!
By this time I was on the bus to Trinnity, probably the reason these thoughts were harassing my brain. Bus = iPod = crazy lyrics that are usually meaningless mumble to me but, because of this whole philosophical mood-thingy, sounded really deep!! Example; The Blizzards – ok take “Buy it Sell it,” always seemed like an over-energetic “mumble,” but it’s about consumerism and prostitution and its actually really meaningful!! Coldplay; ok always one of the “deeper” bands, but really listen to the lyrics and it means so much more. “Clocks “and “Yellow” have to be my favourite two. Those guys will go down in history. They are immortalised by their music (it’s a half borrowed quote from my notes on Yeats’ “Sailing to Byzantium”).
Yeats wanted desperately to be immortal, to not be hurt like a human. “Sailing to Byzantium” is by far my favourite poem of his. The quest. The journey to perfection. Isn’t that what we all want? Perfection. Maybe it’s just us Virgos, but I think not. Being self-critical is good, but there’s a limit. Oh I feel a quote coming on (courtesy of my Granny)!! “There are enough people in the world who will want to put you down without you doing it for yourself.” That’s really true! I read a book called “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers.” Read it and live it! It had so many of those confidence boosting quotes that when it made you fell all warm-and-fluffy inside!!! Let’s face it, who couldn’t do with a little boost in the auld self confidence every once in a while =D
Ok back to this inspiration thing. Well, where is more awe inspiring then the big TCD itself? Walking through the cobble courtyard, I just felt a “bubble” rise in my throat. I swallowed quickly and ended up in a coughing fit!!! I think it must have been laughter – laughter at the fact that I was walking in the prints of some of the greats – laughter at the fact that I was wandering around looking for my life inspiration instead of living my life – and probably laughter at the thought of the ridicuolous sentence being handed out to the people of this country only a few blocks away.
Well I found my inspiration later that day in an unsuspecting Cork man or his words anyway. Have you ever heard someone speak and thought “yes, this is for me”? Well I had one of those moments listening to a mini-lecture on medicine. Don’t ask me why, but this is what I want. And I can now say that without feeling guilty, because he said I could! I have always thought I would like to do medicine, but never felt right saying so because I had no answer to “why.” Among some of the people I know, it was and is thought that being ambitious is the same as being snobby. That wanting the best, is like saying what I have is inadequate. And so what if it is? I won’t regret not living my life just because a used-to-be friend thinks I’m being snobby!! Humph! (Sorry that needed to come out!!)
Well after this momentous realisation, I decided I had some changes to make, which I would do in a calm, mature manner. I dropped to pass maths the next day, and made a pact with myself not to get emotionally caught up with this person again. I will not be dragged down!!! Dropping to pass maths really was the right thing to do because I now need to come up a grade (at least) in everything else :/
For now though, my hpat preparation begins. Anyone got any tips? (I know I’m competing against you if you think about it like that, but you’ve got a head start!!) So I have six days of school left, then six days off, and then it’s up to Leeson Street for five. Having a bad biology teacher has a lot to answer for =( Anyone else heading up???
Make the most of that Christmas spirit =D
Ta ta
Katie xxx
