Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday: there is never enough time to get what you want done, is there? And as I asked in my first blog, ‘how much time is enough?‘ I’m spending 33hrs 45mins studying a week (including “class time”), and still I have a LOT to get through! And how do I know if I’m taking the L.C. seriously enough? I sat in shame watching ‘The Late Late Toy Show’, seeing that young boy called John Joe speak so perfectly about the literature of Roald Dahl – on a side note: how cute was his little laugh? – and thinking to myself, “I’m screwed!”  There is no way Shakespeare will get something so wonderful from my brain come June next year. I’m stressing about orals, aurals, practicals, written papers, C.A.O. forms, examination papers, future college prospects, acceptance into a college, open days, exam results, and simply wondering if I’m doing everything correctly!

However, I am receiving a C.A.O. form and a external candidate  application form this week in the post, and I will hopefully begin work  on my history research project this week too! I also received news this week that “took a load off”. My old secondary school contacted me and told me I could sit my examinations there, so phew! And U.C.D. open day is next friday – I can’t wait for that. Anyone else going?

But I am a little exhausted. I’m worried this year I won’t do as well as I’m anticipating. I don’t want a lot, just enough to get me into a university, hopefully U.C.D. But night after night I lie, tossing and turning, unable to sleep because I think of the alternative prospect: having to repeat again, wait till I am a mature student, or settle for less. Is it too early to be suffering from butterflies in the stomach?

However, with regards to study, I did get a LOT done. King Lear is finished, as is the comparative study, basic French grammar is nearly finished, and I’ve also written a good bit of notes too! Yet, I only hope I’m employing the correct study techniques. What is the best form of learning?

I do not believe that the examinations are simply memory tests. Subjects like English, French, History, Gaeilge and Music are designed to exhibit  flair, intellect, opinion, cultural, social and political awareness, and some degree of personal response. If they were memory tests one would not be required to understand any of these concepts. We would  just write answers on a page based on what we’ve committed to memory, and let us be honest: what is interesting about that? If we perform as conformists, we lose all personal identity. My opinion would not be something that would matter to anyone, and even if it doesn’t as it is now, it matters to me.

On the other hand, what if being a robot is what the examiner expects? What if a person, like me, strolls into the examination, expresses his/her opinion in a clear, but controversial manner, and yet loses marks for being unique? Is identity important when writing a response to the study of John Keats’ poetry, or should one simply do what has been seen and done before, if doing so earns an ‘A’? Was Robert Frost right when he said ‘I took the road less travelled by and that has made all the difference’? Or was he merely speaking of himself? Should we do as he did if, in the long run, we remain true to ourselves; or should we conform to sample answers and committing essays to memory if, in the short run, it gets us to our first choice college?

Au revoir mes amis,

Ian