Today marked the last of my orals with my weaker of the two, French. For the past two weeks, questions have been flying around the year such as ‘What’s she like?’ and ‘What did she ask you?’ with people trying to get some last minute prep on each exam. I’ll start with Irish. Over preparation was my only downfall here. For months, we’ve been bombarded with notes on politics, the recession, the education system and just about everything else topical that would make for an intelligent conversation. Us being the Higher level class in the year, we thought we would try steer the conversation towards these topics and try sound bombastic as Gaeilge. But no. Instead, the examiner just happened to be the nicest woman in the world. She point blankly refused to talk about any of this stuff. Walking into the room, I was surprisingly calm. I happened to be the last person in for the day, but being greeted by an ’I’m knackered’ from the examiner was the last thing I wanted to hear. Her laziness at that stage came to the fore when she asked me to read the sliocht I had facing up. I looked down and to my horror, Peig Sayers, my least favourite starred back up. Bad planning I figured. It went well however and gave her my ‘Oh Mo shliocht is fearr!’ fib. I’m pretty sure I saw her scribbling down 30 across the desk. Or 20. Maybe she could smell the lies. All I got was a ceart go leor. Thanks for your indifference like, every pass guy got an ‘Ar Fheabhas!’. Funny enough, both orals started with ‘Have you any brothers or sister….’ Although any time I threw out these ‘nascanna’ for my prepared topics, the next question was always something simple like ‘Inis dom faoi do chaiteamh amisire?’ It’s quite hard to show off whatever Irish you have when you’ve to deal with this. I came out of the exam thinking ‘great!’, but as I aptly walked into Irish class, I thought ‘Súcra, forgot to use the Modh Coinnealeach!’ I managed to use the gnáthchaite a few times, but with an Irish teacher who is actually in love with the tense and continuously talks in it, I feel ashamed of how I managed to not use it! The only consolation is that the majority of my class was relying on reeling off notes, but from trips to the Gaeltacht, I’m able to make up things on the spot fairly easca. We did a few mock orals before the test and I was always hitting the 70ish mark, so hopeful it was in and around that on the day!

All Irish did however was give me a big head for French. Maybe arrogance is a trait of the French, but not a good trait going into the exam. So for the following few days, I was convinced all I could do was wing it. That was until I did a mock oral with a friend. And then it hit me, I’m gonna have to learn this stuff… Me and French have never really got on well. It has always had its ways of annoying me. Not being particularly blessed with great teachers for the JC, and finally when we get a good teacher for the Leaving, she decides to leave us two weeks before our Orals to adopt a baby! Granted she hadn’t planned to leave so soon, but we’ve now had three different French teachers in three weeks, with our current one only staying if they cannot find a replacement! So with no teacher pressure, preparation kind of slacked off. I can honestly say I learned to speak the language in five days. Writing a language will only get you so far, but you really have to be speaking it regularly to get any sort of fluency going. So for five days I studied nothing but French despite Economics and Chemistry tests in between (still got 91 and 95 respectively!) I threw together some brilliant notes. I had sentences prepared using all the irregular subjunctives and what have you. Everything learned of to a tee on any subject. I still felt apprehensive about the whole thing, as I had only ever spoke French once before to a fluent speaker, while with Irish I had countless encounters. Reports said she was nice, and spent up to six minutes on the Document with some people, I had ten minutes prepared on it. Before going in, I downed half a bottle of Rescue Remedy. For those of you that don’t know what it is, It’s a whiskey-like substance with much the same side-effects I suppose. So I strolled into the room, reeking of alcohol. In hindsight, not clever. I think she knew something was up. I started with a warm ’Bonjour Madame, ca va?’ to which I just got ‘Bien’ back. Grrrrr. What about me and my ‘Je suis trés nerveux madame, c’est eprouvant!?’. That kind of set the tone for the exam. She sounded exactly like the woman off the SEC listening tests. She was a native French speaker and that worried me a little. Within a minute of the exam, she asked me if I liked ‘to shoot birds’. What the hell! How do I know this is what she asked? She turned to the side the imitated someone shooting a recoiling shotgun, I kid you not. I tried not to laugh, and began to wonder if I was drunk and hallucinating things. I muttered a childish ‘Euh…. Non, j’aime les oiseaux’. Thanks. That wasn’t the end of the bizarre questions, out of nowhere, I got a ‘So why do young people today not go to mass?’. That really threw me. I ended up giving a conflicting response and at that point I truly felt like a French man, like giving up that is. Thankfully this women picked up on a few hints. I managed to talk about the economy and NAMA for a minute or so and that was my saving grace. I weakly managed a regular subjunctive and that was it. I always thought that getting these questions during an Oral was a good thing and a sign you were doing well, but in my case, unequivocally not. I really came across as being a weak higher level student when really I am normally one of the better ones in the class. The standard is poor enough as it is and French really was my place to shine. I guess not. I would have hoped for a B from both. Irish I’d imagine so but in French, a very mediocre C. It annoys me because it’ll be a toss up between the two for my sixth subject on the day, and seeing as I got a B in the mocks in French, it’s looking less likely that it’ll make that B category come August.
If I can give any tips to fifth years, it’s to get cracking on the Oral section as soon as you return in September. Try hold a conversation in whatever language and it’s amazing how it helps. All this year there has been people I just spoke Irish to and it really gives you the confidence speaking it on the day.
I’ve decided to take the evening off as a reward, not that I’ve done much, but with 47 to go, I’m taking one last break before tearing into it for the last six or so weeks. Instead, I’m writing articles for our School Magazine, or prep for English Paper 1 as I call it. We just got our student profile forms for the yearbook, so that’s a sure reminder that the year is quickly coming to an end. With just over four weeks until we graduate, one feels that the Leaving Cert is just around the corner.
I hope the Orals went well for everyone else!
Aurevoir!