Hi guys,

This is prob going to be one of my famous pessimistic blogs, as Ray William Johnson would say, “I’m just saying”. So my friends, you’ve been warned. Ok. I don’t even know what to say or how to put this, and i am dead serious. No sarcasm. None.Have you ever felt so confused and anxious, as if your bottling something up inside and feel as though your going to burst and fly away,crying and zooming through the air like a balloon…?  well that’s how i feel right now because basically, im moving this August. I don’t want to get into too much detail but its outside of Europe (Asia to be a tad more specific). This August,after the results are out whenever,im going awaayyy:( I shall defo still be applying to the colleges for medicine in that area but its all messed up. Ill be using my LC points so still need like mostly all As and then I’m hoping they’ll take my HPAT test instead of their own stupid entrance test…one must sit a test where there’s 70 Qs each on Biology,Chemistry and Physics .. jeez like i don’t even DO Physics whats that about? anyways,,apparently its not for definite,but the way my parents are looking at houses & making plans here and there, talking to people like we actually are ,i have a feeling there’s a 95% chance we are going. Its such a sock to say the least, ive been living in Ireland my whole life, i have friends and family here,,,But then again, I’ve also moved my whole life, ive lived in Clonmel (Tipp),Carlow,Kilkenny,Waterford and then Carlow again,where we’ve been living for the past 6 years. Whatever hospital my Dad gets a new position in,that’s where we go. Lately though he’s decided to commute since we’re all so set here.

So if we do (and are) move, do i just ignore (if there IS any) any offers made on my CAO? would that matter? i have no idea. All i know is that there’s a chance i wont be studying in RCSI this year…sickened. Ill also miss the Debs in my school. I don’t even know how to tell my friends yet,,that will come eventually. The only decent thing aboout this whole mess is that i no longer need higher level irish,,well at least im telling my self that. So im thinking of dropping to pass for the simple reason that I cannot be bothered. Correct,Irish at higher level is far too long of a course, requiring me and my little, easily distracted mind to overwork and melt. Strange , as i know im able for it,,,im even applying for a gold fáinne next week,no big deal but still. Anyway, if a dwell on this too much ill probably be causing havoc around my house and people will end up shooting me for moaning 24/7. According to my mother and younger sister (who are annoyingly alike) i let out my anxieties on others..ok so what if i do. (I did warn you guys:()

On a happier or rather not as worrying note; as Cillian blogged, the HPAT was…an experience. Overall i thought it was alright,totally guessed half of section 1. I was happy afterward and thought i did my best…that’s all you can do. I was in the UCD exam hall, i thought at first it was quite intimidating,,1000s of people all wanting the same thing..Thats another thing, im not even going to be competition for most you guys now,seeing as im jetting off after the actual LC..Arghhhh!!:K

My french mock oral is on the 22nd so i should be working towards that. I said id make a new study timetable for this month, that has yet to happen. Cleaning my study room has also, yet to happen. Ive started reading though,to calm my nerves again ‘The curious incident of the dog in the nightime’ and ‘The Road’. I finished the first one on Monday,after starting it, well on Monday.  Really interesting,something i wouldn’t normally go for,,good though.I was sitting, roasting and burning away living on dairy milk bars from the vending machine in the waiting room in Crumlin Hospital from 6.30pm to 11.25pm,watching little kids from about 1-4years of age,playing in a corner with a ‘little tikes’ kitchen,half of them had the tummy bug and one girl’s nose was in bits, like it was spilling blood but that child was kissing and hugging every other kid in that room. My brother walloped his knee off the stairs at school and fractured it,now he’s got a lovely red cast and crutches for a week.

We should have most of our mocks back by this week,something im kind of neutral about. I prob could have done a bit better on some of the papers..but ive got the LC for that I also feel as though i should say that ‘Valentine’s Day’ has GOT to be the most cliché film about love EVER..so what if Patrick Dempsey is in it ? I was wrong,  so wrong,such a waste of my time.

Btw, i was wondering if many people are using a document in their oral (French),is it a photo or an article or..? sorry im just curious:) You all prob know im using a photo.

Bonne Chance!

-Ally XD