This week I was offered a BIG distraction from my studies. And no, it wasn’t ‘Jedward’ committing sacrilege on one of the greatest ‘Queen’ ballads. This “BIG” distraction is 5 pounds and 13 ounces, smells of talc and is lost in a few cotton blankets: I became an uncle for the first time this week. Unfortunately, I don’t know whether to treat my first nephew as an incentive or disuassion to do well in my leaving cert. because, well, quite bluntly; he’s so damn cute and I feel terrible when I’m not trawling through King Lear and composition papers, but I feel worse when I’m not cuddling “the little bundle of joy”. What to do? What to do?

It’s not that I’m not dedicated to my studies and examinations, but since the little “bloighter” came along I feel a slight responsibility to spend time with him each day. Only trouble is, I spend more and more time with him and less and less time summarising Mussolini’s Italy and the structure of a flowering plant – uh-oh!

Yet, from Monday, I’ve sworn to turn over a new leaf (in my textbooks ) and delve ever-more deeply into the leaving cert. courses. But….It’s “sooooooooo” difficult – boo-hoo! But needs must I suppose. I’m not going to get to college by spending time glowering over a baby who has no intention of comprehending what is going on around him anyway.

However, thanks to all you wonderful people at allhonours.ie I’ve found out that:

a) I DO NOT have to re-sit my maths exam;
b) I now know EXACTLY how to answer difficult questions and;
c) That I’m not the ONLY ONE struggling out there!

It’s a great support system we have here and I intend to take FULL advantage or it!

When I did get time to myself – (today!) – I found myself drawn to the comma-inducing Skytv: Will & Grace, Twilight and The Simpsons… And then we had the X-Factor! How on God’s (or Allah’s or whatever’s) Good Earth did Jedward get through again? That is not to say I was a fan of Jamie Archer’s but still, now two highly talented performers’ – (if we include Lucy) – dreams have been splattered all over Kleenex tissues and £1,000 magazine deals whilst two incredibly talent-LESS vocalists remain in a competition designed to promote the next BIG SUPERSTAR VOCALIST!

Now I’m not suggesting that ‘Jedward’ are completely useless: they are highly entertaining for two tone-deaf, turkey-legged, clumsy teens but when is enough going to be enough? When they actually win the competition and record one of the world’s worst atrocities of a record? They are almost as ridiculous as Donna and Joseph McCaul -remember them? And quite frankly; they are a complete embarrassment with the amount of musical talent this country has to offer – and what is worse is that they were chosen to represent Ireland by Louis Walsh, a fellow Irishman (a trumped-up, prima donna, bitchy Irishman, but an Irishman nonetheless). I do realise he has created highly-coveted groups before in ‘Boyzone’ and ‘Westlife’, but at least those groups had a least one or two competent singers.

We also have another “BIG” distraction for the next three weeks (which are some of the most important for revision before the mocks): ‘I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!’ As tantalizingly shocking as ‘Jedward’ are, Ant and Dec are arguably more-so. And I LOVE ‘EM! They are the best thing to happen to television since ‘Stars In Their Eyes’ – (now THAT was good television! ) – and I’m seething about the fact that under no condition shall I be able to ignore my daily dose of Z-List Celebs bickering, doing trials, eating testes and crying unceremoniously into a  6-inch camera-lens ! Why must my feeble brain be fried by tv that doesn’t matter in “the long run”?

TO-DO LIST:

a) Apply as an external candidate (late I know);
b) Finish an exam paper on each subject (if I can);
c) Apply my C.A.O. application and;
d) Actually do some work!

Well, that about sums it up for this week. What have all of you got set for this week? Is there anything that works as incentives or disuassions for you? Are you growing steadily more addicted to reality tv? Or are you, unlike me, wise enough to stay stuck-to-the-books?

Until next week,

Ian

So, where to begin?… I’ve always assumed the beginning is a good place to start…:)

My name is Ian (a.k.a StressingOut) and this year I’m repeating the ol’ Leaving Cert. If any of you think doing it once is/was tough, try doing it a second time! Presently, I’m sitting at the dining-room table with about thirty textbooks for six different subjects -(I’m not fully convinced I’ll be attempting Biology again yet) - and all I can see are the wonderful English books, the marvellous Irish texts, the captivating French tracts, the inspiring History tomes, the amorous Music publications and of course the euphoria-inducing Maths eulogies….sarcastic much? And yet I cannot afford to screw up this time for you see, I live in the countryside and because of ye ol’ recession I’m not seeing nearly as much nightlife as I’m accustomed to! I reside in a rather beautiful house, but a house nevertheless, and I feel, due to the connotations of the ever-serene countryside, I’m becoming a tad deranged, like I’m suffering “cabin fever” or I’m becoming the Mr. Hyde to compliment my Dr. Jekyll! And all because I did nothing in preparation for my first attempt at the L.C….that’s right: nothing, nada, zilch! I wasted every single day, only listening in English class, and disrespecting the study of all other subjects! Coming out of the dark tunnel into what I thought would be blinding white light, I painfully received only 315….for shame! and thus, back into the tunnel I go! Study, study, study!… the odd episode of Scrubs…and rather embarrassingly The X-Factor!…and then I fall back to “Study, study, study!” And that is why it is imperative I do well; to leave la campagne behind and head for the city!

What is worse I find, is that not only do I have to repeat the L.C. but, I must do so without the assistance of a secondary school staff! That’s right! I’m all by myself this year and yet, I feel I deserve it for my lack of enthusiasm back in 2008! You never know, I might actually do some work this year without annoying qualified teachers telling me what I pretend I already know! Take it from me, if your in a school with teachers who are doing their best for you at least do them the courtesy by going in everyday! I wish I had and deeply regret it now!

The whole stress and strain of “doing it” by one’s self is ten times as strenuous or stressful as when you have an adult who knows all the answers of the subject they teach by your side. ‘Sir’ and ‘Miss’ are two words that have evaporated from my vocabulary and I cannot depend on the two figures led by the words ‘Mam’ and ‘Dad’ because they’ve never done the L.C. (and besides, the course would have changed drastically from their day even if they had). I depend solely on myself…ah! Poor me! I’m not looking for empathy, or even sympathy, but merely trying to express my regrets at not taking the L.C. seriously enough last time when I did have the comforts of a worn-out copy of Othello and a basic dose of nutrition come one o’clock. I’m by myself. I grow increasingly confused about the hours I put in for study and the lack of hours I put in for sleep!

And besides, how much work is enough? How much work is too much? And what is it all for anyway? : 2-3 hour examinations set in June to purposefully (and conspirationally, me thinks!) keep hormonally-imbalanced 16-20 year-olds inside on hot –  (o.k. Irish weather is technically not “hot”) –  summer days when we should be outside on “the moors” shouting out for our lovers, or in suburbia contemplating the temperment of a “War Horse”….if that is your idea of fun Ms. Bronte and Mrs. Boland! Should we ostracize ourselves from society just to achieve something that neither matters nor inspires when we are simply dust in a coffin? True experience does not exist in books. Powerful and beautiful they may be but that is simply what they are: books.

O.K., I realise that there is some light at the end of this seemingly never-ending tunnel. That is, should one do well, one gets to gallavant off to UCD, TCD or NUI to, yet again, study for a further 3-4 years in hopes of aquiring one’s dream job: teaching in a run-down school in the arse end of Wicklow or playing with chemicals in Schering Plough. Whatever the case, UNI better be as good as “they” say it is if I’m putting as much effort into this as I’m implying I am in this blog!…

So the cobwebs of my brain are dusted away, the foglights I use as eyes are framed and blazing, and my mind is raring to go…well nearly…but the X-Factor results show is tonight so “I got to go”!

Ian